The wind kicked up the snow and I couldn't see the car in front of me. Then it cleared but only for a mile or two before more snow blocked my vision. I pulled off the highway ...my plans changed. Now what would I do?
After announcing my changed plans to the people waiting for me, I eagarly thought of the unexpected blank space on my calendar. I always wish for extra time and and now I have it. What do I do? I spent an extraordinary amount of time feeling confused. Should I work? What should I work on? Should I play? Do something fun by myself or with someone else? Should I catch up on household stuff? Having free time didn't feel fun for very long.
During this confusion I ran into someone who's plans had also changed. I asked her, "Do you feel confused?" She said, "No. I just go with the flow." I asked how she did that and she said ....surprising me ....it takes practice.
I thought about how I easily get "married" to plan, even those that are tentative, and when they change (as they always do), I rarely go with the flow but do all kinds of things to stop up the dam.
Things like trying too hard, overthinking, putting extra pressure on myself, worrying, blaming, and catastophizing. These are not things that lead to flow ...they are things that lead to distress! But, I thought that you either had flow or you didn't and I just wasn't one of the lucky ones.
Today I learned that "flow" takes practice. So I am practicing by breathing, looking around, reducing my expectations and allowing myself to not know what to do next. Next time I hear someone say, "Just go with the flow", I will remind myself to "Practice flow."