"Permanent" thinking is classic pessimism. When something happens or changes, pessimists believe its permanent. When gas prices go up ...they will stay up, go higher and forever be that way. Thinking "permanent" gets me off the hook for taking responsibility ....I mean, if it's permanent than what can I be expected to do about it?
"My son is angry with me. Work is hard when people are worried about the economy. I'm gaining weight because my coping mechanism is a trip to the movies and a giant bucket of popcorn," I whined to my mother-in-law. I felt overwhelmed by the happenings and change. I whined for a bit more about my weight and how no matter what I do, it's not good enough.
My ranting eventually stopped and we sat in silence.
"For now," she said.
"What?"
"Those things are true, for now. None of this will last forever. Your son will stop being angry, our economy will find a rhythm, and you will find a healthier way to relieve stress. This is all temporary," the wise and brave woman said to the stressed and scary recovering pessimist.
For now.
Nothing really changed that moment but I felt a big sense of relief.
The following day I decided to add "for now" to the end of any negative thought or permanent sounding sentence.
"The weather is too cold ...for now."
"Business is slow ...for now."
"I can't seem to eat healtier ...for now."
What do you say or what thoughts do you have that could use "for now" on the end? When you add "for now" you are not denying the crap of life but choosing to not make it permanent. My "for nows" reminded me that spring is around the corner, I have great clients that challenge me to learn and grow, and I make many healthy choices in my life. Hmmmm.....sounds a lot like a list of good things!